Perfectionism and the Holidays
by Linda Griffith, The Organized Option 
I asked my 21-year-old daughter what was the best Christmas gift she ever received from me. Her quick reply was her laptop computer. I then asked what was her most memorable Christmas gift from me. She thought for a moment and answered, "My Barbie quilt." I smiled at her endearing comment. She remembers the creative fun she had with it as a child -- I remember the frantic late nights sewing in secret. But which do you think she'll remember a decade from now -- the laptop or the quilt?
Everyone appreciates the value of receiving a handmade gift. And it doesn't necessarily have to be made by you. If you love the idea of giving a handmade gift, but don't have the time to make it, then head to your local Holiday craft show! With so many vendors, you're sure to find something perfect for that little kid (or big kid) in your life. The key is to have a plan! Know what your spending limit is, who you're shopping for and what they like. I stroll through all of the vendor booths before making any purchases. This allows me to have purchasing options so that I remain within my budget.
But what if you're a closet perfectionist? You feel that a memorable handmade gift must be made by you, and only you. Then I empathize with you. I've struggled with perfectionism, too.
If you're a regular reader of mine, you know that I can't cook and I always feel guilty that I'm not Betty Crocker. There's one day a year that I'm feverishly determined to be a great cook. And that's Thanksgiving Day. In my home, just the mention of the meal brings groans from everyone. And it's not the dry turkey or lumpy mashed potatoes that cause those groans. It's my attitude! In my feverish attempt to prove that I can cook, I make myself crazy, cranky and miserable. And it has a ripple effect on my family, too. I mean, our Thanksgiving meal could make for a great comedy show. I've practically got steam coming out my ears and I may Politely ask, "Are you enjoying your meal?" when, in reality, my tight red face says, "Sit down, shut up, you will like it and you will eat it!"
After several years of this, I finally let it go. I realized that the perfect Thanksgiving meal is family and sharing, not the food that graces the table. I accepted reality and immediately felt a load lifted from my shoulders. And all because I eliminated my burnt, chunky gravy for canned gravy (sorry, mom). Actually, it involved other changes, too, but the point I want to make is that I no longer focus on trying to prepare the perfect meal. Instead, I can focus on something much more important. When we sit down to our Thanksgiving meal, we each take turns and say aloud what we're most grateful for. It was the only time during the year that I'd be able to hear my grumpy teenager say how much she loved us. I guess that's why I always wanted the meal to be perfect. Thankfully, she's older ow and I can get an occasional, "I love you, mom."
Bottom line is, let your perfectionism go. If it's worse during the Holidays, head it off now. All gifts are treasured -- whether it's a Barbie quilt or a laptop, it all depends on your perspective. Focus instead on the best moments, and allow them to happen.
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