Have you ever noticed in every article, e-newsletter, or family holiday letter
you read that the writer always start out with chit-chat about the weather, and
how time has slipped by. We all do it; and I'm no different. I've been so
caught up in home remodeling, trying to sell our home, and then building a new
home, that when I finally poked my head up it was time
for Halloween. 2007 not only slipped by
for me, but it was my most challenging year (and not one that I'd want to
soon repeat). But I do have something I
want to repeat for you, and that is last year's holiday column on "Forgiveness
in the New Year".
After one of my
recent speaking engagements, a woman came up to me and said that she'd cut out
the column and occasionally re-reads it during the year. She had no idea (and
neither did I), but her comment was exactly what I needed to hear right then . .
. I needed to take my own advice! After muddling through eight months of
remodeling and building, I needed to let go of the hurt and slow
down. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. Unpacked moving boxes have kept
me from getting ready for the holidays, but I've decided that's okay. My family
and I can live with it. So here's the reprint of last year's column, and enjoy . .
.
Forgiveness in the New Year
I'd like to close out the year with a wish for you. This month's column has
nothing to do with the usual home organizing tips, but it does involve
organizing your thoughts. It's the miracle of forgiveness.
We've all been in hurtful relationships, whether through
divorce, conflict with our parents, adult children or siblings. As young
adults, we're opinionated and judgmental. As we get older, those same opinions
and beliefs aren't quite as steadfast. It's only through experiencing
relationship crises, and emerging through the pain on the other side, that
we see we had a choice all along. . . but only now are we ready to make that
choice. We can either take the path to the left called 'just surviving' or we
can take the path to the right called 'living well'.
When I stood at this junction eighteen years ago, I took
the 'living well' path. I was sure it required more work (it did). I was ready
to let go of my personal pity-parties (I did). What I hadn't planned on was
forgiving--it just naturally occurred. If you've never experienced the wonders
of forgiving someone, then here's the secret: Forgiveness benefits you,
not the person you're forgiving.
In my case, a profound calmness settled over me. But
more importantly:
I had no idea this would happen.
When my daughter experienced her first broken heart, I was
there to listen to her. I did not give her advice, because she was young and
needed to find her own path. She wasn't old enough to let go of those steadfast
opinions and beliefs that I mentioned above.
We can't force or influence others to forgive. We all
experience it at our own pace. So now you're probably asking, how does this tie
in with organizing your thoughts? Absolutely everything!
If you recall my column from a year ago, you probably
chuckled when I said that I spend every January 1st organizing my files for the
New Year. Some of you even agreed with my confession that I'm pretty anal when
it comes to that. But why do you think I do this? It's because if I didn't,
I'd be playing catch-up for months. I'd be downright miserable and edgy. But
more importantly:
And I know this would happen.
